I trust in You Lord

Lord, My LOVELY God. I need Your help.. I don’t know what kind of disease that inside me, but I need You to cure me and take out of any disease that inside me, because I just use the cup at Pastor House that have a liver disease.. Lord please that all of disease away.. I only believe in You. and no one like You.. You are the greatest God of any gods. Love You.. Amen.

Are you there God, it’s me …

I am gracious for everything you have planned for me. I know that my life will get better, and that I am meant to do more with my life than work at a grocery store. Thank you, because despite my shortcomings, I received my bachelors, but that’s just the problem. Why is taking so much more time to find a career? It’s bittersweet being out of college. Please dear God, help me find the job that will change my life forever. Thank you for my health, and my overall well-being. I ask that you guide me in a healthier path. I am so scared of this weight I gained during college. I am so scared to not become who I am meant to be. I don;t want people to look at me and think that I am a big failure because I have not found my job and I have not lost weight. Help me become who I am.

I know what I did was wrong and yet I couldn’t let go. Now I have to face the shame and guilt of it all, in front of everyone. Lord I ask you for everything I need to move forward and get through this. I know I must pay for my sins but please help me through this. I just need your help…I don’t think there is anyone else I can turn to with this hurt and embarrassment. 

I’m tired of asking and not receiving. I’m tired of believing and nothing good coming of it. I’m tired of having so many friends, yet NONE are there for me. I’m tired of my “family” and how there are so many ppl in it, yet nobody there for me! I’m TIRED of constantly feeling like I’m getting punished. I’M TIRED OF HOLDING ON! 

Finally I can admit it. I hate my freaking life. I’m so tired of this crappy world I live in and the stupid, disgusting and nasty ppl I’m surrounded with…I feel like I get punished every freaking day! Lord, if you love me, why is this happening to me?

Father, listen

father, I’m all worried about the person that I like compared to everything else. Despite having my exams, I still prefer to care about him. 

yesterday, as we were practicing for martial arts, he had his knee injured real bad. I’m really afraid that he couldn’t be walking anymore. He probably torn his tendons. So I want him to recover soon, Father. He will be going to Australia soon and I wouldn’t want him to go there with such bad injuries especially if he’s going there alone. If he’s meant to go there, help him to recover and let him have a safe flight going there and back home. I want him to be back home safely despite him not being mine. If he’s not meant to go, let him stay in the hospital for further recovery. 

thank you Father for listening


A Letter to God

Dear God, I’m troubled right now. I don’t have the confidence to be on stage again. I’ve never done a public speech before. Please help me Lord in making the right decision. I need your guidance father, please bless me with wisdom and confidence that I may be able to speak according to your will… I love you…

All that I wanted to say

Hi. Its me. This is not one of those prayer letters. Just plain talking. Noone to talk to, u see. I am learning to ride the bike nicely, finally, all thanks to you.

Every night, I cannot sleep in peace. There is something pricking me always inside my mind. I am always thinking of all the bad that can happen. I look at Athirah’s picture a lot these days. God, where are you? What are you waiting for? I am trying so hard, I am out of answers and ideas now. My mind is killing me. The present way of life is making me think of suicide.

You know everything. Where are you God? I want Athirah and the job God. U remember how much I wanted to be a President then? Today, I feel like its the biggest punishment that any man can get because of all his sins. This moment God. I cant even cry in peace. I need your help a lot rihght now. I swear one day soon I will commit suicide otherwise. I am loosing all control over me God.

I think I have done something very wrong in my past life and in this life. Maybe I hurt someone very badly and you are making me feel the same way as they felt. Sorry if that is the case.

U know some days I get lost in the pain inside my head and just dream of the things that I so badly want. For a moment, peace comes back. And then its gone again.

What should I do God? How do I get through this? Tell me what to do and I’ll do. God, I have not had one friend in the past 7-8 years. Its very lonely out here. There is love inside of my hesrt. Just need a chance to show it. You know it all. Why am I even telling you? Please. Help me no.

Bye. Love you. Take care.

I’m so lost right now, dear God. And I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t trust anyone. Even myself. I have no idea what’s wrong. Am I getting bad again? Please, don’t let this happen. Please keep me in lane, I don’t wanna loose track again. I hate what’s going on with me right now, I know only you can fix it. So I put everything into your hands. I trust you. And I know you’ll make it better. All I’m asking is for your grace. Please strengthen me and remind me that everything will work out the way they’re suppose too. I love you. Amen. 

Lord, I am so lost right now. I feel so low about myself. I don’t know how to keep going because I don’t think I can do it. And I’m about to give up. I know I wanted this all my life, and I really have no idea what’s wrong. I’m sorry if I have so little faith right now. But please, please give me something to keep me going. And guide me to every step I take. Please, don’t let me fall down. I know I can do it with your help. So,I’m asking for your grace again. I’m sorry for asking too much. Please, I don’t want to be like this again. Show me they way. Show me I can. I trust you and I love you. Amen.

My dear heavenly father, first of all I would like to thank you for your endless guidance and blessings. Thank you for shed of blood on the cross for my sin. Thank you for breaking me and torn into pieces and purifying my heart. Its not easy but you never let go of me. For I am your Child, Your bride and your Church. Thank you for the unfailing love. I surrender everything to you by the power of the name Jesus Christ. I can do nothing but you alone God can do everything for me. Please show me the way into your perfection and lead me the way to your right plans for me. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Dear Jesus

I thank you for what you have done on the cross for me! I thank you for your love! I thank you that your always by my side, even if i cant feel you! Your so amazing! I feel to unworthy for your love! Jesus I love you so much!! I want to be a follower!! Please forgive me!

I love you Jesus!   ♥